get it together.. or whatever

I’m tired
and frustrated,
could try to save face
but
I’m losing my patience–
lord
knows I’ve been patient.
Thought I knew my place in
this place we call space
and
this thing we call life
— or whatever —
“get it together.”
I talk to myself,
and call it self-help–
Happiness
they say is wealth,
so I do my best
to trick myself,
into thinking
that
I’m really rich–
But I’m broke,
or better said;
“broken”
losing my focus,
choking
on pride
that
I never had.
Feeling bad
for feeling bad,
asking questions
already asked —
avoiding attention,
prefering blessings,
some realness
that
I don’t have to question,
forever tripping,
and secong guessing.
Alone,
I’m okay.
An aggressive lesson.

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Still I know nothing

What’s the use
of this confusion–
stumbling,
tripping
on my own illusions,
somehow
coming
to my own conclusions.
It’s so stupid,
my innate need
to jump through hoops
and
seek approval.
Still I know nothing,
still I am nothing,
say I need someone to save me
but maybe
I’m bluffing–
Fuck it.

Force yourself. to be better. Self-help. regardless whether. you hit the mark. or hit the ground. get up. instead of. letting. life. keep you down. look around. see the beauty. it’s not profound. but it’s useful. truthful.ly. prospective’s just a matter of how you see.

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for the hell of it

Never do it for the hell of it,
the farthest thing from dra.ma.tic
Looking back
on all the time I’ve spent,
wasting it on wondering,
overthinking,
trying to connect all of the pieces
of all the shattered dreams
and
fantasies–
Lost in a mind that’s lost;
could it be
that I’m crazy?
Honestly,
that’s probably
my most redeeming quality–
Disconnected from the world,
the rest;
I’m too stressed
to focus.
Life’s a test
with so many questions–
if I was to die,
would I rot in hell
or heaven?

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Untitled

On a scale of 1 to 100
I’m 100
percent
sure that I’m unsure
that I know nothin
all the facts are obscured
in the dark,
I’m trippin.
Should I catch myself
or fall?
That’s my biggest question…

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a love/hate poem

Love poems and hate poems
always use the same prose,
cause love,
and hatred
intermingle and elope;
they coincide, coexist;
opposites,
near synonymous.
Of both we are so passionate,
they’re said to say
the line is thin.
It’s blurred and obscurred
only by some fog and mist–
So stay lightfooted;
leaning,
teetering,
it depends on how you’re looking,
how you put it;
say
or express it.
One of them is precious,
the other is less than.
Both will overwhelm you,
both are infectious.
Do the math,
and what you’ll find is,
all coins are two sided,
so flip,
take a risk
or choose to choose wisely.

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Pep Talk

One day at a time,
the world is an oyster,
soon it’ll be mine —
Practice makes perfect,
I’m only scratching the surface,
working and working,
getting better each day;
learning to cope,
find a better way
to stretch my potential,
and refresh my mental,
learning to be
more than ok;
glass three quarters full,
I know I could be great.
It comes from within,
it’s something innate–
Just a few changes
could change my whole fate.
And just so you know,
for you, it’s the same.

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A Void

am i mad
like the hatter
or being matter of fact
that
i’m mad
cause
i’m the least dramatic
but
it always
just so happens
when it comes to drama,
seems
that
i’m the problem.
full stop.
comma,

I’m lacking distraction,
and missing the static;
the erratic,
fantastic
back-
ground
noise.
Fill myself up
to fill up the void,
facing life face up,
I try to avoid–
You’re my favorite illusion,
complex and confusing.
My life is a riot,
and that’s the conclusion;
rather die by the fire,
the torch
that’s been lighted,
than sit around waiting,
and die by the silence.

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Scattered Ashes

Give me a second,

to gather

up my brain.

It’s scattered

like ashes,

splattered

all over the place.

Kurt Cobain —

Filled with angst,

some leftover teenage rage.

I’ve got an uncanny ability

to always mistranslate.

I’ve lost my mind

so many times,

my thoughts just walk away;

flutter by

like butterflies,

I can’t seem to concentrate —

I missed my train of thought,

I’m high

and now I’m running late.

I’m deep in my mind,

and heading to another state

to regenerate

and generate

ideas to fill this empty space,

replace

the thoughts that

I lost along the way,

and at best

recover some,

so this trip isn’t in vain.

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Perception/Teleidoscope Vision

Teleidoscope vision,
fractured in image;
see things all ways,
but split up and twisted,
complete disarray —
is there something I’m missing?
The point. My purpose.
I’m one in a million.
I’m worthless
and perfect —
A hero and villian;
Each person sees different,
pieces their pieces,
to form wiggly pictures.
And so the message,
all you know is
your perception.

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Missed Call

Hey,
I hope
you’ve not
forgotten me —
I called yesterday
through telepathy.
I left you a message,
and sent vibes
and blessings,
so if you want,
get back to me.

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